Are Your Thinking Strategies Really Keeping You Safe?

Some people confuse relief for happiness… They use certain thinking strategies in order to feel ‘relieved’ if something goes well for them; in order to save themselves from the feeling of disappointment if it should NOT go their way.

For instance a person might go to an interview with the expectation they shall not be successful – in order to NOT feel disappointed. This has the bonus, so they say, that they will feel relieved if they actually get the job; and only then will they allow themselves to feel excited about being in employment.

Except the same thinking strategy used for the job will make them feel ‘relief’ each day at work if they get through a day without something going wrong… Thinking strategies perpetuate themselves!

Sometimes people develop useful, or harmonious, thinking strategies by accident and are using them successfully without realising the subtle effects their way of thinking is having on their life. Unfortunately the same goes for those people who have mistakenly adopted thinking strategies that have unhelpful effects.

For instance, I know someone who has adopted the above strategy and feels it keeps them SAFE from disappointment. The problem is, due to the subtle effect of telling our subconscious mind we expect to get turned down for the job, the person wonders why they are still out of work!

The thinking strategy is keeping them SAFE from disappointment, but in the long term they will suffer from long term lack, a slow fall into the despair that comes from prolonged expectation of loosing out – which due to how the mind effects reality (plus the phenomena psychologists call the ‘self fulfilling prophecy’ and other normal psychological patterns).

So what to do if you have a thinking strategy that is unhelpful? The first stage is to identify it – become aware you are using a particular thinking strategy and that it is not as useful as you would want. That is the hard part, and most people will need help in identifying them. The next step is to find the supporting beliefs – those beliefs that indicate why it is safer to use this thinking strategy rather than another. We can then utilise certain tools – such as NLP, Time Line Therapy, etc., to melt the incorrect beliefs. Once they do not have a stranglehold upon your thinking pattern we can introduce new Harmonious Thinking strategies via one or more methods including hypnotherapy, NLP, affirmations, visualisation, or present moment awareness, etc. – whatever is most appropriate to your belief system and preferences.

One way to help you identify thinking strategies that are unhelpful – apart from present moment awareness, which is the best method – is to use affirmations. Affirmations in the way of “I am delighted to be applying for this job because I know I can get it” will through up an objection that makes us aware of the strategy. So, if there is a part of your life that doesn’t seem to be working out properly, try using very positive affirmations about it – then listen! See what objections come up – these are your thinking strategies, or pointers toward them, so you can recognise them when the situation arises. Start listening to what you say to yourself.

The only problem with this approach (if we are not getting guidance from a professional coach) is that we will rationalise our way of thinking so it sounds perfectly reasonable. And no doubt, within the constraints put upon you by your beliefs, this IS perfectly reasonable in order to keep you safe. But what if you could have a more harmonious thinking strategy and still be safe? What if you could use success tools and other techniques that would help you cope well enough to use Harmonious Thinking strategies and be safe? Thereby reaping the rewards of subtle shifts in your unconscious mind. Paving the way to a more resourceful and fulfilling life.